I was young, perhaps four or five years old. Mom and dad owned the lot next door to our house and had turned half of it into a large vegetable garden. There was a fence all the way around with a few gates for access. They also raised a few Bantam chickens. They were allowed free roam of the garden to eat bugs, worms, and such. One of the hens had six or seven young chicks that followed her everywhere up and down the rows. I was not allowed in the garden, unsupervised—I liked to chase the chickens and try to catch a young chick.
Mom and dad have gone somewhere. I was told to not go in the garden. They told my much older sister and brother to keep an eye on me and to keep me out of the garden. But while my sister and brother were busy doing whatever it was that they were doing, I slipped out the back door and into the garden. Quickly, I searched and found the hen with her chicks trailing behind, moving in the rows shaded by the over arching black-eyed pea vines. Me being me, I began running up the row chasing after the young chicks until I felt something soft under my foot. I spread apart the vines and realized that soft something was one of the baby chicks. It was dead. I had killed it. I remember my first feeling was sadness. Followed by quilt. Exposure came next. Then I covered myself—I lied about it. I said the neighbor’s dog did it.
Sin is not defined by what humanity says is doing right or doing wrong. Sin is disobedience to God. God says, “Obey your parents.” I didn’t. God says, “Don’t lie.” I did. The consequences of my disobedience, my perceived reasons for it, or excuses I make for it play no part in it—I disobeyed God and I lied about it. I find my experience remarkably similar to that of Adam and Eve’s in God’s garden (Genesis 3).
Adam and Even disobeyed God. I did too! They felt sadness and shame. I did too! They felt exposed. I did too! They were afraid and tried to cover themselves. I did too! They lied. I did too! I don’t know if this was the first and only time Adam and Eve experienced sin and its consequences. I can say with certainty, this was not my only time to disobey God. The number of times I have sinned, since then, are countless. I don’t remember the second time I sinned, nor do I remember the ten thousandth time I sinned, but I remember this “first time” I sinned. And it’s this first time that matters the most. It’s all that is necessary for me to require redemption—redemption I cannot provide for myself. Nor can another person who has sinned and needs redemption themself do it for me. I need a sinless redeemer—someone who can purchase all my sin and forgive me for mine–so do you.
Do you remember your first act of disobeying God?
Sincerely,
Carl Ray